Are we entering into a “new gloves-off era of leadership?" In my recent conversation with Kate Lowry, Silicon Valley operator and author of Unbreakable: How to Thrive Under Fear-Based Leaders—she shared a sobering truth: fear-based leadership isn’t just back. It’s being normalized. “Ten years ago, CEOs had to at least pretend to care about their people. Now, it’s cool to be cruel,” Kate told me. Across industries, leaders are tightening control, cutting compassion, and rationalizing their behavior in the name of efficiency. As Kate put it, “We’re watching some of the wealthiest and most influential people in the world act as if the rules don’t apply to them—and that sends a message to everyone else.” But her message isn’t about despair. It’s about power—and how to reclaim it when fear surrounds you. 1. Learn to Recognize the PatternFear-based leaders are predictable. They create tension, watch reactions, and feed off control. “If you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, or nothing you say is ever right, you’re probably dealing with a fear-based leader,” Kate said. The moment you recognize the pattern, you regain choice. You stop internalizing the chaos and start managing it strategically. 2. Build Your Protective ToolkitThriving under fear isn’t about tolerating abuse. It’s about staying grounded in who you are—so fear doesn’t define you. Kate calls it “diversifying your sources of identity.” If your only sense of worth comes from your title, a single setback can feel catastrophic. But if your identity comes from multiple areas—family, friends, passions, purpose—you become unshakeable. “When leaders lose one part of themselves, they fall apart,” she said. “But if you’ve built fifteen different parts of who you are, no one can take your power away.” Resilience, in her view, is built through clarity, not toughness. 3. Stay Strategic—Not ReactiveFear-based environments reward emotional reactivity. The most powerful move is to stay calm. Kate calls this the “gray rock” tactic: become the most neutral presence in the room so that fear-driven leaders lose interest in targeting you. And when you do engage, make it count. “You can’t outmuscle fear-based leaders,” she said. “But you can outthink them.” That means understanding their triggers, avoiding unnecessary battles, and learning to frame your value in terms they respect—results, efficiency, and control. 4. Redefine StrengthWhat makes Kate’s message powerful is that it’s not just about surviving toxic leadership—it’s about rewriting what strength looks like in a fear-driven world. “Strength isn’t domination. It’s being steady enough to protect yourself and others, even when fear is loud,” she said. In times when many leaders still lead through intimidation, the real test is whether we can lead through integrity. Because while fear may drive performance in the short term, only trust sustains it. 👉 Watch the full episode here Get the next issue on ThursdayOne idea a week on how top CEOs lead when the stakes are high, from inside rooms most people never enter. Free, and you can leave any time. Latest issuesYour company will only change as much as you do 26806160-38596 Your company will only change as much as you do 26806160-82af7 Your company will only change as much as you do 26806160-310e6 |